


Still Yours

by ThisAddictHasAPen (ErynElric)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Implied Mpreg, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Mpreg, Omega Verse, Slow Build, Slow Burn, daisuga - Freeform, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-02-10 04:04:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18652537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErynElric/pseuds/ThisAddictHasAPen
Summary: Suga, a court omega from Aoba Johsai, becomes the prisoner of his greatest enemy after the nation of Karasuno murders his king and abolishes his country. If he can manage to rise above his circumstances and become the winner of the Karasuno king’s contest of power, he might just claim the love of his life and the power he was always meant to have. M/M, A/B/O,(omegaverse), implied character death, LOTS of ANGST. :D





	1. Chapter 1

I swear, I’m still yours.

 

—

 

The blood was still coming.

With every feeble, fading heartbeat Suga slipped just a bit more. He could feel warmth flowing from him with every frail thump, blossoming into bright crimson flowers against the fraying sheets beneath. This frenzied, stuttering, fluttering feeling in his chest was more of a weak spasm than a solid beat - the dying cry of an organ too starved of nutrients to provide for the rest of his failing body.

The silver haired boy shuddered, breath stuttering. He just couldn’t seem to catch his breath, wilting as the stark red stain bloomed. It was starving, desperate to drain every last bit of Suga from the world second by precious second, undeterred by every effort made to save his life.

“Hinata…we’re out of time.”

The aforementioned boy had captured one of Suga’s hands between both of his own. He was trembling, a vice grip one of the silvery haired boy’s last lifeline to the world around him. “It’s not stopping, Tsukishima.” He sobbed, tiny shoulders shaking as he pressed Suga’s hand to his forehead. “W-Why…why isn’t it stopping, damn it? Why?!”

The anguish in Hinata’s voice was palpable. Suga felt a hand on his face, a thumb gently running along his cheekbone. “Suga-san, we’ll get you help. Y-you’re not going to leave us, okay? You’ll be j-just fine!”

Something wet fell on Suga’s cheeks. He pried his eyes open, struggling to look at the distraught boy. The shorter, orange-haired one shone above him, blindingly bright even without the halo of the last glow of sunset behind him. He knelt by his mentor’s sickbed, shoulders shaking, broken sobs spilling between gritted teeth.

_‘This is what the sun would look like if it could cry.’_ Suga thought, squeezing the boy’s hand. The light powder blue of peeling paint highlighted that messy, vibrantly orange hair that looked so out of place next to dark circles under his eyes, the cuts on his cheeks, the gash on his forehead.

A pale, trembling hand reached up to brush Hinata’s cheeks. “Little crow- a-ah!” Suga’s breath caught as another wave of blood left his body; the silver-haired boy whimpered as his muscles seized.

“I-It’s alright.” Suga somehow managed to muster a smile. Staying awake had never been so difficult. He’d never had to fight for his next breath, to work so hard just to lift a finger!

 

Wouldn’t it be so much easier to fade away?

 

Hinata pushed the matted, silvery blond bangs away from his mentor's tired brown eyes. He struggled to find a smile, sniffling as he shook his head. “I’m not leaving you here.”

Floor to ceiling windows bathed the sickroom in warm orange hues, giving the wilting male and his companions full view of the sun sinking into the ocean. This room, no, this whole cottage wasn’t safe at all…but at least it faced away from the carnage. Every once in awhile, the sounds of screaming and gunfire filtered through the walls…or at least it had been. Suga couldn’t hear any of that anymore; the sounds of war were stifled under Hinata’s tears and Tsukishima’s pacing.

“Tsukishima-kun,” Those brown eyes searched for the bespectacled golden gaze of his impossibly tall charge. The younger boy joined Hinata at Suga’s bedside in seconds, standing stiff as a board. “It’s time.”

“NO!” Hinata shouted, shoving himself between the sickbed and his taller peer. To say that they had never gotten along was…about the understatement of the century. The thought of trying to send those two into the world, on their own, in a life or death situation? Absolutely _terrifying_. If there were just some way that Suga could go with them, stay at their side as he always had, he would do it in a heartbeat.

If only he didn’t have so few heartbeats left.

“Hinata-,” Suga tried to call out but the words were lost as a new wave of red flowed from him. They were coming faster now, his heart fluttering in his chest. This wasn’t the slow ooze of most wounds - it came in pulses. It was evidence of his body’s futile fight to keep itself alive. The feeling was absolutely grotesque.

The dying male whimpered, eliciting a strangled cry from the redhead beside him.

“Suga-san.” Tsukishima’s voice held a note of caring that rocked the silvery blond to his core - he’d never heard the boy sound like that before…the tall male had never said Suga’s name as though he were made of glass. He was the disinterested, distant type - cool in every circumstance, never emotionally touched by anything or anyone. The loneliest boy Suga had ever met. “You’re…absolutely sure about this?”

“There’s no point in…,” Sucking in a slow, deep breath, Suga did his best to slow his breathing to make speech remotely possible. “…all of us dying. You know if… if Karasuno finds us that…,”

“It’s not going to happen, Suga-san!” Hinata slammed his fist into the bed, knowing his words were false despite his conviction. “We’re going to get out of this together, just like Oikawa-sama said!! He told us to take care of you! We can’t…. we can’t just abandon you to-,”

“He’s already dead, Hinata.” Tsukishima growled, planting a firm hand on the boy’s shoulder. “We don’t have the means to save him here. And even if we did, we don’t know how much blood he’s lost or if reviving him would even be possible.”

Hinata shook his head vigorously, his voice breaking as he begged Suga to stay. “There…there must be something…!”

“Baby.” Suga had always been affectionate with his youngest trainee. That motherly softness he’d used in Hinata’s instruction seeped into his voice as he released whatever calming pheromones left in him to attempt consoling the distraught boy. “It’s time, little crow. You’ve done all you can.”

The shouts and gunfire were louder now. Tsukishima gritted his teeth, caught Hinata by the shoulders. “They’re coming! If we don’t leave now, we’re not going to make it!”

“Tsukishima-san, please-,”

“If Karasuno catches either of you…,” Suga huffed, “it won’t…end well. They don’t treat omegas like people, little one. Tooru isn’t…here to protect us anymore.

“We’re on our own.”

Suga’s voice was the smallest whisper, yet his charges visibly flinched. Any omega on their own, without a consort or master, was screwed. If you were underage and the past consorts of a recently executed rebel daimyo famous for thwarting the emperor at every turn…

“They haven’t branded us yet. No one will know who we belonged to.” Tsukishima squeezed Hinata’s shoulder, but there was no comfort in it. The gesture, like his voice, was pure ice. He never wanted to lead anything or anyone; yet here he was, saddled with guarding his own neck and someone else’s. He didn’t know how to appeal to people.

“Hinata-kun. We’re leaving. Now.”

“You can leave Suga-san behind! I’m staying with him until I can find some help!”

_‘How will they survive on their own?’_ Suga pondered, fighting the fog slowly descending upon his brain. It wouldn’t be long now. If he could help them somehow, he had to do it now.

“Hinata-chan. Go.” Suga said softly, gently taking the hand that had been cradling his cheek. “I know that it’s hard, precious, but you have to go.” With a shuddering breath, the boy used the strength he had left to bend his neck up and kiss his former charge on the cheek. “I’ll be fine, little crow. I’m going to see Tooru and Hajime again – I won’t be alone.”

Hinata’s impossibly brown eyes were so filled with hurt and indecision; for a moment, Suga didn’t know whether he had broken through. Their master struggled for another breath, to fill his lungs with enough oxygen for the reassurances the small boy needed. However, the redhead was speaking again before he could manage.

“Confession.” Hinata whispered. “Everyone…everyone must Confess, right? Or they don’t move on to the o-other side.”

The silvery blond smiled as Hinata took one of his hands, while Tsukishima hesitantly found the other. This was the last rite, their sacrament of the dying. One last confession; whatever the dying person felt it was pertinent to pass on. Normally, one didn’t think about their Confession until they began to grow old. Suga had known his ever since he could remember. He just didn’t think that he would be imparting it so soon…to the two who looked up to him more than anyone else. 

Would they still mourn for him, if they knew what their mentor had done? 

“He’ll Confess, then we go.” Tsukishima held Hinata’s gaze for a long time, stern in a manner so unlike him. “Promise me.”

The tearful redhead took a gasping breath, nodding. “Fine.” He whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut tight.

_‘This is what the sun looks like when it sheds tears.’_ Suga thought, rubbing his thumbs across the backs of their hands. _‘And what the moon looks like when it mourns.’_ He was happy that his last moments would be spent here, with these two, in the glow of the sunset. Last flickers of a mother’s worries flitted through his mind – traveling at night was dangerous, what if they got cold? Or lost? Shouldn’t they take a blanket?

All of that was gone when Tsukishima began the rite, his voice audibly shaking. “Suga-san, y-your time has come to join your ancestors.” His head dipped, free hand gripping bloodstained bedsheets. Shining drops fell as his shoulders lurched forward. “I-I, Tsukishima Kei…,” He managed, his voice strained with the effort of containing his emotions.

“…And I, Hinata Shoyo,” The redhead pressed Suga’s hand to his forehead, sniffling through his words. Suga’s eyes closed, a faint smile painted over his lips.

“…Offer you the last confession. Do you accept it?”

“I do.” Suga’s voice was barely a whisper, his strength nearly gone.

The shouting was coming closer, getting louder. Tsukishima managed to get to his feet, taking a shuddering breath. “What is your Confession, Suga-san?”

For a moment, the world was silent. Another pulse of blood shuddered through Suga, giving him the strength to speak once more.

“I…I-I am in love with Oikawa Tooru,” Suga whispered, his eyes slipping closed. This was earth-shattering, but the lesser of two evils. Perhaps his charges wouldn't remember him as well but at least this way, they wouldn't hate him. “This is my Confession.”

The two young omegas were not the ones who needed to hear those words. The Confession was made even more useless by the fact that Oikawa was dead and gone. Two tears slid their way down Suga’s cheeks as he took a deep, shuddering breath. “Be safe, young ones.” He whispered, releasing their hands.

The sun sank into the ocean water, light completely swallowed up by inky blackness. Tsukishima ripped a shell-shocked Hinata from Suga’s sickbed, dragging him toward the door. There were hoofbeats, shouts right outside the door of the cottage. If they had a chance, it was to hide until they could run out of the door.

“Be safe,” Suga’s last instruction filled the silence as Tsukishima dragged a sobbing Hinata out the bedroom door.

The dying boy reached a shaking hand up to the sky, tipping his head back as tears of happiness drifted down his cheeks. “Tooru,” He mouthed, his eyes slipping closed. “I’ll…be with both of you soon.”

Suga’s hand fell to the bed, just as Karasuno soldiers broke down the front door. The air filled with shouting – screaming, sobbing, orders, pleas…the sound of two omegas captured and bound. The desperate cries as they were separated. One last demand to know if anyone was still in the house. But the silvery blond heard nothing; his breathing was slowing with his heartbeats with one last pulse of blood leaving his body.

The door opened, and the room filled with the most beautiful smell.


	2. Chapitre 1-1: I Was

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The omega awakens.

__

**_‘If you return to Karasuno, young one, you will die. That is why you were brought to me.’_ **

**_\--_ **

****

 

_“Forget.”_

Consciousness was a wave; an ebb and flow that drew Suga from the blackest depths of dreamless sleep to grasp at sporadic images and sounds.

 _‘How strange,’_ Suga wondered, _‘I never thought that dying would feel so much like falling.’_

Any moment now, Suga expected some representative of the afterlife to fetch him, shake him awake, and demand to know what had taken him so long to get there. Honestly, he’d hoped Tooru or Hajime would be there when he opened his eyes to this new reality; even those chubby little babies with wings, floating around him in some sort of cloudy… _somewhere_ would have been acceptable. Yet, there was… _nothing._

_“Forget.”_

Perhaps this was all there was. The constant flow, a peaceful existence made up only of this endless ocean and the word ‘forget’.

“Forget?” Suga breathed, sinking slowly again. The darkness was back, ready to swallow him once more. He was fading, slowly giving the last of his consciousness to the deep. No fear, no anguish, no regret - all that remained was a single, disconcerting question.

What was Suga supposed to forget?

The deep slowly began to churn, filling with words and images.

_“Forget.”_

_“Dead.”_

_“Omega.”_

_“Consort.”_

Images of deep, olive-green eyes, freckles, white ceilings came to him occasionally; Suga couldn’t tell if he was dreaming or opening his eyes. Suga was floating in this ocean of light, then darkness, then light again; he saw flashes of blurry faces before sinking under the surface again. Somehow, he knew that he wasn’t supposed to be here but he didn’t know how to leave.

Once more, Suga crested to the surface just to sink into the deep, sleep prickling at the corners of his mind. He sighed softly, surrendering to the tempting promise of rest at _last_.

_“Suga chan,”_

Tooru’s voice was never this soft, this easy. Suga could almost hear him smiling. If only he could just open his eyes to greet that swash of brunette hair, the laughter in his eyes-!

_“Listen to this story.”_

Those words elicited a favorite childhood memory - Suga was crawling into Tooru’s lap, looking up at warm brown eyes that danced in the firelight. He snuggled into the chest of a king on that cold winter night, listening to the same story he’d heard a million times before. It was all so achingly familiar.

Here, Tooru was never going to leave. Here, he would tell his stories forever. There was no death, no pain; Suga would never deal with the agony of knowing that the one person he loved more than anyone else was -

_“Once upon a time…,”_

The warmth disappeared.

 _‘Tooru?’_ Suga tried to call out to him, but his mouth was full of water.

Suga was gasping, fighting for air, desperate for breath. He tried to scream, to cry out for him, for Iwai, for anyone out there who could help him. But the water - it soaked up his words like a sponge, pouring into his mouth in torrents, suffocating him from the inside out. He couldn’t breathe - couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t breathe couldn’t breathe couldn’t -

Suga flinched from the cold sensation on bare skin. Perhaps…hands?

Ice-cold hands clenched delicate shoulders, accompanied by a voice saying _something_ … it was just decipherable, but the sound was too muffled to make out. Suga tried to answer, to call out to whoever was trying to reach him. He couldn’t manage _anything,_ his screams reduced to a few choked whimpers.

_“Breathe!”_

_“You’ve got to breathe!”_

The quiet waters were churning again; the world shaking. Everything falling apart, nothing made sense. Cold…getting colder, colder-

 _“_ You can’t leave me yet!”

For a moment, Suga’s eyes finally snapped open, blinding, stabbing, painful white slicing through him. He whimpered, squeezing his eyes closed once more.

“Look at me.”

_‘It hurts…it hurts, it hurts, it hurts-,”_

“ _Please_ , just open your eyes and _look at me_!”

“I-I…I _can_ _’t_ …,”

Suga choked on the word, more a sob than a sound but… _somehow,_ he pried his eyes open again. Everything in the room was spinning, too distorted to make sense. His eyes couldn’t make sense of what they were seeing. The omega was nauseous; he just wanted everything to _stop_ for a second so he could-

The world stopped when Suga saw a pair of eyes the color of dark chocolate, and felt two big, warm hands cradling his face.

“You’re…,” For a moment, the word was caught between the stranger’s perfect lips.

 _“Beautiful_.”

The way that word _sounded_ \- it was like a prayer spoken from pure adoration, devotion, perhaps _obsession_. Joined in seconds by the most amazingly warm _smell;_ this stranger was sunshine, pure warmth mixed with vanilla and a hint of…smoke?

Suga took a shuddering breath - then another, and another and another, the oxygen flowing through him, just _breathing_. He couldn’t stop inhaling that wondrous _scent_ until his lungs were full of it, full of _him._

“He’s…he’s _breathing._ ”

Someone else was speaking, but their words were lost in those dark chocolate eyes. All Suga could hear was what he was saying, could only focus on the hand pushing sweat damp locks of silver hair out of his eyes.

“You’re okay, beautiful one.” His soft, comforting voice slipped into Suga’s ears, like he was comforting a terrified child. The stranger brushed his thumb over Suga’s cheekbone, next words barely a whisper. “I promise, you’re okay.”

Suga’s eyelids were too heavy - there was no way to keep them open. He was just so _tired_.

“It’s…you,” Suga whispered, though he might have only mouthed the words. No sound seemed to escape his lips, yet the wonderful being above him somehow knew exactly what he was saying.

“It’s me.” The hands cradling his face were trembling. There was the strangest sensation of something wet falling on Suga’s cheeks; then, an even stranger sensation of closeness, of something touching his forehead.

“I’ve waited so long for you…I didn’t know you were-,” The stranger took a shuddering breath of his own, one that sounded almost like a choked sob.

Suga managed to force his eyelids open one last time. Peering through silver lashes, he found tanned skin, eyes squeezed shut; a face contorted in emotion. Their foreheads were touching in a moment of intimacy so _achingly_ familiar…the omega’s throat burned, threat of tears brimming for some unknown reason. He knew the stranger exactly without knowing a thing about him. All Suga knew for sure was that they were close enough…if he wanted, he could lean forward just enough to kiss the stranger’s eyelids.

Oh, how Suga yearned to.

Leaning forward was almost too easy. Trembling pink lips found tanned skin immediately, as though they were meant to connect. The tanned skin was salty, its scent so warm and inviting. Suga felt himself drifting away again, yet somehow managed to bring one of his small, pale hands up to wipe the stranger’s glittering tears from his eye.

“I’ve…waited for you…too…,” Suga turned his head into the stranger’s caress, melting back into unconsciousness as he mouthed the words. His hand fell as he did, into wonderfully warm depths that welcomed him home. As the silvery blond slipped under again, he could have sworn that someone was calling his name. They were begging, _pleading_ for him to stay…but the current was too strong. He fell midst the apologies, the hands squeezing his own, the whispered reassurances from unfamiliar voices.

Too far gone to decipher the garbled noises, Suga finally gave in to unconsciousness.

 

\--

 

_“Suga-chan, listen to this story._

_“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful kingdom of eternal twilight. The streets were lit by starlight; its houses and structures twisted up mountains, the bleach white color of moonlight at midnight bright against a purple sky. Every day, everyone in the city gathered to watch as the sky exploded into vivid reds, oranges, and pinks as the sun rose and set on the surrounding nations. The people here had never seen the sun, but they did not miss it. Here, in their city of stars, they were content._

_“It was in this beautiful city that a family of omegas lived. They were gifts to the people of this city from the gods themselves!_

_“Silver hair, impeccable beauty - they were the most perfect beings, each able to bear children, no matter their sex, just as other omegas could. However, there was one thing that set these apart from the rest._

_“Can you guess what that is, little one?”_

_\--_

 

 _Nothing_ was such a blissful experience. Suga didn’t know how long he drifted, just _being._ It was as if someone had switched his mind off, wrapping him in a warm blanket of unconsciousness. Before, words from that other, painful waking world had drifted into his black cocoon. This time, Suga thrived in isolation; not even the questions plaguing his mind could find him here. He hadn’t slept so well in such a long time. Not since the-

That thought sent Suga rushing to the surface, his heart picking up its pace in anxious frenzy.

_‘Tooru,’_

Suga’s mind fixated on that name, shooting rapid signals to his brain to open his stubborn eyelids. For a moment, the battle seemed lost; the closer he got to the waking world, the more exhausted the silvery blond felt. By the time he finally reached his destination, snapping his eyelids open felt more like trying to unstick peanut butter from the roof of his mouth. He grunted with the effort, frustration coursing through his veins.

 _‘This isn’t supposed to be so hard - just…_ open!”

A crash of metal on floor made Suga flinch; his eyes finally snapped open, but he immediately regretted it. Pain stabbed his eyes, his chest, his - _everything_. Bone crushing, breath stealing _pain_ made his face contort and ripped the air from his lungs in one choked gasp. He crushed the sheet beneath him in his fists, so tight his fingertips turned white.

“H-He’s awake!!” Someone stammered in a blind panic, footsteps a stumble as their voice broke the silence. “Someone, call the healer!”

Suga bit back a second cry, turning it into a strained whimper; the pain was cresting like a wave. He couldn’t breathe, couldn’t focus, couldn’t _think_ apart from the white hot agony ripping him apart.

Several sets of footsteps clattered toward him, accompanied by a chorus of voices equal parts authoritative, nervous, and unsure. An unfamiliar presence laid the back of their palm against Suga’s forehead; different from that smoky vanilla figure of his wildest dreams, they were softer. Their smell was clean, like fresh cut roses. Somehow, that calmed him…if only the tiniest bit.

Before Suga managed to say anything, he felt something odd flowing through him. At first it was a sting, followed by cool, soothing numbness spilling through his veins. It washed gently over the sharpest edges and slowly soothed the silvery blonde’s irritated nerves.

“That should start working riight about…now.” They sounded as though they were smiling, their voice a prelude to a cool, moist sensation on Suga’s forehead. “I hope you haven’t been awake for too long. I thought you might hurt when you awoke and wanted to be ready but…I wasn’t sure, um, _if_ you would wake up…,”

Several minutes passed before Suga could attempt to crack his eyes open. Even though he tried to go as slowly as he was able, the blinding white of a light directly above him impaled his exhausted eyelids. He didn’t want to go for actual movement yet - even something as simple as turning his head away from the light felt impossible at this point. He did the best he could with his eyes, concentrating on easing himself out of sleep.

The first thing Suga noticed was that he definitely wasn’t alone. The one who smelled like roses was right beside him, the faint scent painting him as a beta. He was short, timid, and nervous; his actions were frazzled when he wasn’t busying himself with inspecting poultices and medications or looking over his patient. His deep, olive green eyes were tired, but kindness shone through them.

Another thing he noticed was the room itself. Well, it was less of a _room_ and more of a _cell_. The floors and walls were black stone, a grim backdrop for the glittering metal bars caging him in. It was quite a dark, grim place; the halls beyond were made of that same stone, walls peppered with doors and soldiers alike.

A note of terror shivered through the omega’s heart as he noted the black and orange uniforms of every soldier in sight.

Suga’s eyes followed the healer, noticing that there was some sort of clear plastic line connecting his arm to a bag of clear fluid hanging at the bedside. He frowned, puzzled. Attempting to lift that arm proved futile - it was like trying to lift a stack of books from Tooru’s massive library (a situation Suga found himself in many times when cleaning up after his scatterbrained master). He remembered rolling his eyes every time he’d found yet another heavy tome, then adding it to his stack with a sigh. Of course, Tooru had always insisted upon reading in his room, and the library just happened to be at the other end of Seijoh’s palace.

 _‘If I had to carry thousands of piles of books to see his smile again,’_ Suga thought, ‘ _I would do it in a heartbeat._ _’_

Tears pricked at the corners of his eyes. He hadn’t had any time to even _think_ about… everything had happened so quickly. Tooru, Hajime, the baby-

A strangled cry erupted from Suga’s lips, instantly drawing the healer to his side. “A-are you okay? Is it another contraction?” The beta’s hands scrambled, passing over the bag of fluid, fumbling with it. “Maybe I’d better slow it down a little-,”

“Yamaguchi-san.” A low voice boomed, rolling across the room like thunder. “Your orders are to stablize the prisoner. If the prisoner is stabilized, you are dismissed.”

“If the medicine is running t-too quickly,” This Yamaguchi-san stammered, oblivious to the slow tears dancing down his patient’s cheeks, “It will rip him apart.”

Yamaguchi’s dark green eyes met those of the soldier. “Ushijima-san.” The healer said softly, trying to ignore the way that the man seemed to stare right through him, “I’ll tend to the prisoner. I’m sure you have many duties to attend to.”

“The king instructed me to ensure that any Seijoh prisoners arrive at his palace alive. His ‘stability’ was a term that we have only just begun to discuss.” Ushijima’s voice seemed to darken at the notion, but he wasn’t visibly upset. He wasn’t visibly…anything. “I’m here to ensure that you comply with orders, Yamaguchi-san.”

Suga’s eyes slowly glazed over as the two discussed his fate. He hadn’t heard them anyway; in fact, he didn’t see the tiny room, the cold metal exam table, or the bars fencing him into a cage for the viewing pleasure of a cluster of soldiers. He didn’t see the small, freckled healer, nor the tall, muscled soldier’s olive-toned black hair. All Suga could see were the faces of those he’d lost. His mind couldn’t seem to accept this strange new reality if it didn’t include the two people he loved most.

 

 

“Come now, Ushijima-san.” A low, sultry voice entered into the mix. “You know that our _delightful_ sovereign doesn’t tolerate boredom.”

Ushijima and Yamaguchi looked up to see another man, dressed in Karasuno’s black and orange slink into the cell, a smirk plastered all over his face. “How boring would it be if the prisoner died en route, or worse, on arrival? Our poor king would be so disappointed - and I’m sure we’re all familiar with what happens when he gets disappointed.”

“Kuroo Tetsurou.” Ushijima sighed, the faintest inkling of annoyance flaring in his eyes. “Your threats do not intimidate me. I know my orders, and I will follow them.” His attention, diverted for less than a minute, immediately returned back to the trembling, white-faced healer. “I will approve every intervention and, if I determine it to be unnecessary, you will withhold it.”

Yamaguchi seemed to deflate. He wordlessly turned back to his patient, turning his shaking hands to the tubing connecting Suga to the clear bag running into his arm.

At the same time, Kuroo bristled; anger flashed in his eyes. His smirk, however, only grew; his teeth glistened under the bright, clinical lights.

“Is the king aware that his son recognized this omega as his mate?”

Before, the chatter of other soldiers had filtered through the open bars of the prison. But those words silenced the room. That silence spread through the room, everyone hanging on Ushijima’s response.

“I reported that to him.” Ushijima snorted. “If you believe that fact will have any influence upon His Majesty’s decision, you are wrong."

Everyone’s eyes drifted down to the prisoner in question as they searched for some sort of reaction. However, between the healer’s pain medicine and the battles Suga was fighting in his mind, they found that their potential source of entertainment had fallen unconscious.

“Poor kid.” Kuroo murmured, shaking his head. He turned his gaze back to Ushijima, previous mirth absent. “You would do well to remember that you were in a similar place not long ago. Even _you_ still have loved ones at the mercy of that _bastard_. A little kindness on your part wouldn’t hurt.”

“You would do well to remember that yourself, Kuroo-san.” Ushijima turned his back upon them, strolling out of the cell. His threat was enough to set the catlike male’s shoulders stiff.

The _slam_ of the cell door swinging shut behind Ushijima reverberated for several beats before fading away into that same tense silence. Eventually, Kuroo-san would slink out behind him to fume in some forgotten corner of the prisons, but Yamaguchi remained behind. He checked on his patient’s wounds, watching his breathing and wiping the sweat from his brow. He hummed through his work, doing his best to distract himself from what was sure to come only hours from now.

What could he do? Ushijima had given him a direct command: he was to stabilize their prisoner, make him presentable, and then deliver him into the hands of his executioners. If Yamaguchi didn’t comply, he would immediately be executed or, worse, suffer the same fate as the poor omega.

Yamaguchi wished he could do the right thing and throw caution to the wind but…he couldn’t. Clenching his fists, the beta felt familiar waves of self-loathing closing in upon him. Why couldn’t he just… _do_ something? He didn’t have anything to lose by resisting - what countrymen or loved ones did he have?

 _‘None.’_ The healer sniffled, doing his best to replace the threadbare sheet over his patient without waking the poor boy. _‘Of all of us, I have nothing.’_

It wasn’t as if the orphaned beta had anyone. No friends, no loved ones, nothing but this job that he hated and a penchant for looking weak which, admittedly, at least made him seem harmless enough to fly below everyone else’s notice most of the time.

Yamaguchi spared one last glance at the unconscious omega, wiping his sleeve over his eyes. The last thing he needed was another lecture from Kuroo about showing weakness around the others. Whenever he (or anyone else) pointed out his obvious lack of a poker face, it only made his irrational tears or anxiety ten times worse. If he could just pass under the radar until he finally grew the balls to try and escape from this horrible place…

The small beta slowly collected his things, taking a shuddering breath as he tried to square his shoulders and lift his chin a little higher. If he could just package up that guilt and self-loathing, put it away where no one could see it…! He just needed to make it out of this cell without falling apart.

 _‘These last few days..,’_ Yamaguchi shook his head, turning to his patient one last time. _‘It’s all been too much. The fighting, the blood, the-,’_

The sleeping beauty was gone; in its place was a shaking, trembling ball off a boy, doing his best to hold himself together.

Yamaguchi stared, dumbfounded, at the whimpering mess of a boy on his exam table. “Y-you’re…hey, are you okay?” 

 

 

Suga shuddered on the table, sobs wracking through his body. Breaths turned into heaves and gasps, his hands curled into fists over his face. The weight of everything crashed down over him in one moment,

“H-hey…what is it? Are you hurting?” Yamaguchi stammered, completely at a loss. “The medicine should have kicked in by now…,” As his patient continued to shake, body contorting in agonized sobs, the confused beta did the only thing he could think to do.

“I’m just…I’m trying to…,” There was a pause, an angry sigh. “I don’t know how to form my sentences correctly sometimes…but what I’m trying to say is…I won’t hurt you. I’m here to help.” Yamaguchi paused for a moment, moving to stand beside that cold, metallic exam table. “My name is Yamaguchi Tadashi, and I’m a healer. Is it okay if I try to help?”

Those words didn’t melt the shards of ice lodged in Suga’s heart. They didn’t make the situation better. But the one _iota_ of comfort those words offered was just the thing Suga was _desperate_ for.

Somehow, the silvery blond found it in himself to whimper out a raspy ‘ _yes_ ’, earning him the scrape of a chair over the cold stone floor, a warm hand on his shoulder, and a thumb awkwardly stroking his skin so gently, like a mother would touch their sleeping child.

 _‘It’s not hard to see why he’s a healer.’_ Suga thought, curling into this stranger more than he’d like to admit. More than anything, the fact that he was willing to sit here with Suga through this gave the grieving male the comfort he needed to let himself go.

How long did it take for the sobs to finally subside, turning from oceans, to rivers, to drops. Once he found himself taking shaky breaths instead of desperate heaves for air, he noticed the stares of other guards…but more than that, he saw that through one small window directly across from his cell, the sky was painted in an explosion of oranges, pinks, and purples. Sunset had begun, just as it had that day.

The day everything ended.

 _‘Where are my charges?’_ Suga thought, squeezing his eyes closed. _‘Tooru…Hajime…,’_

The baby.

“Yamaguchi-san.” Suga whispered, attempting to swallow with his parchment-dry throat, following with an even raspier voice, “You don’t have to stay.”

“I know.” A gentle hand squeezed Suga’s shoulder before releasing its hold on him. Its absence was…uncomfortably cold. “But I’ll stay here anyway. You…seem like you shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Before the silvery blond knew what was happening, the healer was dragging over a small table, a stool, a mess of journals and papers from where they had been carelessly thrown outside the cell. He rearranged everything so that his work station was right beside where Suga rested.

The omega watched as the beta worked, noting what he hadn’t seen before; medication arranged by schedule beside him on the bedside table, familiar salves and poultices sparkling on the floor, haphazardly thrown together with stranger, more modern looking medicines that Suga couldn’t name. He wasn’t that much of an expert on medical matters, just what was necessary for birth.

 _‘I’ve never seen so many bottles of medicine scattered across a prison floor,’_ Suga thought, a shiver running through his core. _‘Much less a prison meant for me.’_

The silvery blond blinked once, noticing a bit of plastic emerging from his arm, secured by tape and what looked like some sort of strange connector. “…What is…?” Suga gestured to his arm, the small contraption swaying slightly with the movement.

“It delivers medicine into your vein.” Yamaguchi’s dark eyes flickered up to meet Suga’s before concentrating on moving his things around again. “We had to give you lots of fluid to save you…as well as m-medicines to contract their womb, to keep your heart beating or…or make it start again after it stopped.”

At the look of surprise in his patient’s eyes, the beta paused an held up his hands. “B-But you’re doing better now! I haven’t had to give you anything like that!”

Immediately, the beta healer turned to start awkwardly fiddling with literally _anything_ to avoid the silvery blond’s tired eyes. Even so, Yamaguchi’s eyes kept turning back to sneak looks at him, the movements of his hands purposeless as he fumbled with medicines, “reorganized” sheets of paper into even messier stacks.

 

 

It took a long time, but finally the agitated beta broke the silence. “I think the worst of the bleeding is over now…but you should still be careful.” His words _leaned_ ; circling around some unasked question, searching for some way to weasel it in somehow.

“Yamaguchi-san,” Suga’s searching gaze finally caught his. “What is it?”

“…I know I haven’t even asked for your name yet, but…,” Yamaguchi took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “What on earth happened to you?”

The deep breathing, the uncomfortable glances - Suga _knew_ that this healer at least had suspicions…perhaps he could already know what had happened. Maybe he was looking for Suga to admit it.

“We…were so sure that we’d lost you. So many times you…you were bleeding out before you got to me. I don’t know how you had anything _left_.”

It was Suga’s turn to take a long, deep breath. It would be best to give the shortest explanation possible. He didn’t know who Yamaguchi was, or who he was connected to. If Suga’s fears were true…

“I was caught in the crossfire between Seijoh and Karasuno.” Suga’s words were slow, _careful_. He closed his eyes as though focusing, flattening his features as he shaped the lie with his lips. It was an easy mask to slip into, simple and practiced. He’d been fooling everyone around him for the last nine months, after all; those nights practicing his lines in the mirror had turned him into a professional.

_‘Tooru, I’m sure.’_

_‘Don’t worry about me, Hajime; I’m fine!’_

‘ _There won_ _’t be any attachment. He’ll be yours. I don’t deserve to be in his life after…after what I did.’_

“Some friends of mine knew that it was almost time…,” Suga began, spinning a story he’d tucked away for a much different time. At least it hadn’t gone to waste; after all, if there was no longer a royal family or a palace, then his grand scheme to run away and leave the sheltered life as Tooru’s pet behind was irrelevant.

“We thought that the house was safe, but…there was an explosion. I don’t really remember much of what happened after.” The omega shivered, shaking his head. “I only remember someone saying that I abrupted, and…and the b-baby was…it was born…,”

Suga was choking on tears before he knew he was crying. He thought he was done crying in front of this poor, baffled stranger but…the poor _baby_. That beautiful, precious being his peers had slipped from his body as quickly as they could…the moment the silence continued instead of being broken by a newborn’s cry…

Tooru swearing that he would save their child.

Tooru rushing out of the room with Hajime and the other healers.

The _second_ explosion that rocked the corridor they _all_ had just run through.

“If it’s too painful…um… you don’t have to-,”

“I-It’s okay.” Suga shivered, trying to breathe around the tightness in his chest.

“What about the father of the baby?” That familiar warmth was back on his shoulder, giving Suga a gentle squeeze. “They said that both of the ones with you were omegas.”

A beat of silence was all Suga had to consider his answer. This Yamaguchi knew that he’d had a child, that he had abrputed; the symptoms spoke for themselves. Suga only had one secret left to keep.

“I wish I knew. He wasn’t…we weren’t together. It was just one night.”

“I am so, so sorry.” Yamaguchi was trying to say the best thing. In that moment, however, the overwhelmingly frustrating truth that there was _nothing_ he could say just overtook him. There were no words to describe what his patient was trying to process. Nothing the healer did, no medicine in his collection would ever fix this.

For Suga, however…just having _someone_ there in the face of how absolutely alone he was - that was enough.

 

 

“Yamaguchi.”

That sultry, smooth as cocoa butter voice from earlier echoed through the cell, snapping the two out of their silence. A tired smile spread over the healer’s face; that familiar, catlike grin was a welcome sight. “Give me one moment, um…,”

“Suga.” The omega murmured, burying his face into his single, threadbare sheet. “I should have mentioned my name before now.”

“…Suga, then.” Yamaguchi murmured slowly, testing the feel of the omega’s name on his lips. He frowned, as though he were trying to reason through a complicated puzzle. The moment didn’t last long, however; when the catlike man rapped on the cell bars once more, the healer gave an annoyed huff before hurrying over to let him in.

The fair omega tensed; his wide-eyed gaze was met and challenged by that tall, dark figure who was quickly moving too close for comfort. With every single footfall, the dark eyes and spiky brown hair a few shades lighter than the black fatigues became clearer. _‘He’s not just a soldier._ ’ Suga took a deep breath, his whole body ramrod straight. A few more steps brought the emblem over the man’s heart into view, the epaulets, the medals glinting in the dim light..

A black uniform lined in orange.

Suga’s blood turned to ice in his veins. He began to tremble at the very presence of this stranger; this wasn’t a mere soldier. This was a general.

A Karasuno general, one of their most elite alphas.

A wave of anxiety crashed down over Suga, drowning out everything around him. He couldn’t hear around the roaring in his ears; couldn’t focus on anything but the stars on the general’s shoulders, that emblem on his chest.

Suga’s heart, beating in his ears.

Those _eyes,_ refusing to drop his gaze.

There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to run.

Suga was trapped.

Closer.

Closer.

Closer, closer, closer-

 

_‘If you return to Karasuno, young one, you will die. That is why you were brought to me.’_

Suga shut his eyes, squeezing them closed.

 “…Here.”

Something…warm…fell around his shoulders?

The omega blinked his eyes open, finding a…black cloak lined in orange silk draped around his shoulders, the nameless general close enough for the savory scent of cinnamon and a familiar, faint woodsmoke scent that Suga couldn’t quiet place. He was all spice, musk, _male;_ he had the aura of dominance that most alphas possessed but… this general’s aura was rather _strong_.

“What, not even a thank you for the trouble?” The taller, tanned male snorted, smirking at the shocked omega. “I didn’t expect such a pretty boy to be so _rude_.”

The only thing a dumbfounded Suga could manage was a weak, “Thank you?” that practically sent the spiky haired general into orbit. He doubled over in laughter, dark eyes dancing with mirth.

“Kuroo-san…,” Yamaguchi pinched the bridge of his nose, groaning. “We have an actual problem here.” Both sets of eyes landed on a very grim healer. His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, hands settling into his pockets.

“I can see that much.” Kuroo had somehow managed to compose himself, mussing Suga’s silvery blonde hair despite much protest from the omega. “The dead omega isn’t dead…and somehow, our _dear king_ managed to find out about him before we even gave word that there was a surviving Seijoh omega on our ship.”

There was an uncomfortable pause, the two citizens of Karasuno exchanging a knowing look. Then, the general swore.

“Fuck all - the damn _prince_.” The general growled, slamming his hand onto the exam table. “The moment he stepped back into the palace, they all knew. He looked like…,” Kuroo shook his head.

“I… don’t understand what you two are saying.” Suga mumbled, just loud enough for his companions to hear. “What’s going on?”

Kuroo and Yamaguchi were looking uncomfortable again. For some reason, they were staring at literally anything but the omega on the table in front of them.

“Why aren’t you looking at me?”

Surprisingly enough, it was Kuroo who took on the burden of answering that question.

“So.” The general started almost flippantly, looking straight into the omega’s terrified eyes. “The one who brought you here… the one who found you in that shack was none other than the prince of Karasuno. Normally, our squad isn’t the one searching random shacks in the middle of battle zones…but for whatever reason, his _highness_ was so damn _insistent_ on giong there before we left.

“When he opened that door and found you laying on the bed, hemorrhaging from who knows where…,” Kuroo’s mouth tightened into a line, his next breath unsteady.

“He said that he’d found his _mate_.”

Suga’s mouth fell open. His thoughts were racing, dancing between Karasuno, a _prince_ ….a _mate._ The weight of those words slammed into his heart, squeezing it in pure agony. “I-I…I can’t…I don’t-,” His voice shook, breaking into a pained whimper.

“Kuroo-san.” Yamaguchi warned. He slowly moved to stand right in front of Suga, right in front of the general. “There’s a lot going on here.” He gently placed a trembling hand on the omega’s shoulder, meaning to be some sort of comfort in this chaos. But, Suga shrank from his touch, unraveling before him.

“Y-you’re saying that I…I had a _mate_?”

“You _have_ a mate. Daichi - the prince - is the one who thinks that he lost his.” Kuroo frowned, not used to being left on the outside. “You know… when we brought you here, to Yamaguchi, you weren’t doing well at all. Daichi…he watched your heart stop. Several times. And that last time… you woke up and _saw him_. Then, of course, you died again. He saw it. _I saw it._ ”

“How the hell did you bring him back?” This time, the words were aimed at Yamaguchi.

“I…I really don’t know.” The beta shook his head. “I don’t know. When… when the prince left I was…cleaning up. Then I turned around and he was…,” Yamaguchi paused, locking eyes with Suga. “You were _breathing_.”

Suga wasn’t processing what they were saying. He drew his knees to his chest somehow, ignoring the stab of pain rocketing through his pelvis. The weight of his betrayal was staggering. Against Tooru, and this…Daichi.

 _‘How can I have a mate? How can I have… how could I have someone other than Tooru?_ ’

It felt so _wrong_ to even have the possibility of anyone else.

Not to mention, _Daichi_ _…_ oh, he’d wronged the prince more than anyone. Mates…that meant that they were made for each other, no one else. But…but Suga had _borne a child_ for someone else.

 _‘Not just any other,’_ Suga thought, _‘His enemy. And now I’m mated to…my enemy?’_

The fair omega’s heart squeezed in _agony_.

“If Daichi found out that his mate’s alive he’d be overjoyed.” Kuroo smiled. “But the king said take no prisoners. We’ve already broken the rules for those two found with you. Granted, he probably doesn’t know about those.”

“I don’t know if your status as Daichi’s mate would protect you. It should, but…if the prince already thinks that you’re dead, his father might go ahead and end you just to protect the lineage. Daichi already has a potential-oof!”

Kuroo’s words were abruptly cut off by a precisely-timed elbow to the ribs, delivered expertly by the small beta healer. “Kuroo-,” Yamaguchi tried to chide the general, but a quiet whisper shut him down.

“If I die, I die.”

Suga’s voice was broken, his teeth clenched together. “Wherever I’m supposed to go…just take me there.”

The complaints started almost immediately. “How…how could you-,” Kuroo started, incredulous. “What would losing you twice do to Daichi? If he ever found out that you were alive and that I didn’t save you-,” The noirette growled, shaking his head. “I can’t watch him go through that again. Ever. End of story.”

“…Kuroo-san…that could be it!” Yamaguchi’s eyes flickered rapidly, seeing the answers come through in front of him. “Mates are special. Daichi…he might know that Suga is alive through some sort of connection or their bond. Maybe he told the king, and that’s how the king found out about Suga! Perhaps Daichi has already spoken to his father about it.”

“…So…what? We just drop him off in front of the king’s throne and hope for the best?” Kuroo’s brow knitted together. “If that were the case, Daichi would have been here by now.”

The two debated back and forth, their chatter filtering between the relentless whirring inside Suga’s head. He would go and present himself to this prince and…then what? What would happen if this Daichi found out that his mate was soiled, in love with the fallen king of Karasuno’s greatest enemy? He’d never heard of any omega having an intimate relationship with anyone other than their mate…at least, not a successful one.

Not to mention what Tooru had always said about returning to Karasuo.

“W-well if he’s not there-,” Yamaguchi threw his hands up. “If Daichi’s not there, then we need a plan. What do you suggest we do, Kuroo-san?”

It was Suga who answered. “Do as you are told.” His voice was that same, odd calm. It was acceptance, fear, and despair rolled up into one eerie tone that sent shivers down their backs. “Don’t cause any trouble for yourselves on my behalf.”

“Suga-san.” Yamaguchi pleaded. “I didn’t waste all that time bringing you back just to lose you again.”

The alpha general just looked pained. “The king might not kill you right away. It could be months…hell, _years-_ ,”

“If I am tortured, then I deserve every moment.” Suga looked right through them, that deadpan, emotionless voice draining their last hopes from them.

In that moment, they lost him.

The fair omega heard a sniffle, saw those dark green eyes filling. “We’ve lost s-so many good people to that _monster_ ,” He whimpered, shaking his head, “I don’t want you to become another casualty.”

Yamaguchi’s voice broke as he fell to his knees beside the omega’s sickbed, shaking his head. “I know you’re in pain right now, Suga-san…but _please_ give us this chance to help you. Nothing will ever get better if this ends here. I…,” A broken gasp escaped from his lips, “I could never look Daichi-sama in the face again if…if I knowingly helped his father _murder_ the love of his-,”

“It won’t be your fault, Yamaguchi-san. It will be mine.” Suga reached out to him, pale hand running through the freckled boy’s hair. “ _I_ asked you to follow your orders. _I_ am delivering _myself_ to this king. _I_ will be breaking this prince’s heart twice, if he even knows I’m alive…but I won’t appear before your prince when he is expecting his mate.”

To Suga’s surprise, tears were still welling up behind his eyelids, even though he was sure he had none left to cry. “Even you must realize… how unfair it would be to ask him to accept me.”

“Daichi would accept anyone.” Kuroo sighed, shaking his head. “But whatever. Decide that he doesn’t want you on your own, no matter how unfair it is. Just know that the consequences are all on you.”

Suga nodded, trying not to think about the last time he’d desperately tried to comfort someone grieving for him in his arms. “I know that you don’t understand now…but it’s better this way.

“Your prince…,” Suga paused, that dead smile finally taking over his face,

“Daichi-sama deserves someone who can love him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I warned ya'll about the abysmal upload schedule XD I also discovered that for some reason, I can't save anything to my flash drive on my work computer? ^.^+++ I'll keep trying on the other ones...hopefully I will get to the point where I will be able to type out chapters at work. Hand-writing them will probably be fine, but I feel like it won't be as fast x.x 
> 
> Anyywho, thank you guys so much! I am so excited that there are people willing to come to my little corner of the internet :) 
> 
> This chapter was kind of weird for me - I wanted a lot more to happen, but you would have had a 30-page monster to read ^.^'' So I went ahead and made the executive decision to break chapters up into parts! It's similar to what is done in the novel 'A Darker Shade of Magic' by V. E. Schwab (what I'm currently reading right now! :D Part of the decision to make this shorter was based on how badly I want to get to the next parts of the story - I've got a lot of things I'm excited for coming very soon! With the new way I'm doing these chapters I feel like I have more control of the pacing; as much as I'd like to shove Suga in front of Daichi like yesterday... xD 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! :D
> 
> I listened to "Neon Ocean" by New Dialogue while writing this chapter! Ya'll should go give it a listen :)


	3. Chapitre 1-2: Excerpt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Realization

The moment that beautiful omega shut his eyes for the final time, Daichi of Karasuno felt his heart stop. It was as though his entire world crashed to the ground in an instant. Everything the prince had been suddenly erupted into flames, leaving behind an emotionless corpse in its wake; his soul, his heart, his _being_ irreparably shattered by a trembling, pale hand and lifeless brown eyes.

For three days, Daichi stared out of windows, paced the halls, and worried his closest friends half to death. Silent vigils at his side, walks in the garden, and protests to the king failed to return their prince to the kind commander they all held so dear. Eventually, only one possible intervention remained: Michimiya.

Now, the beta noblewoman was pouring Daichi’s tea. She was his fiancee, the daughter of an affluent member of the king’s closest council. She was stunningly beautiful, kind, smart, funny…everything required of a remarkable queen. Daichi adored her as he adored his younger siblings; the thought of their impending marriage had always seemed _natural,_ perhaps even _exciting_ to a prince who had never known romance before. He couldn’t have a better wife if he had chosen one himself.

How _lucky_ Daichi once considered himself; how _eager_ he had been to marry her. That, however, was before that silvery blond omega stole his heart, before those tiny hands and tearful, fathomless brown eyes had captured him so completely.

Now, Daichi couldn’t feel himself smile when Michimiya entered the room.

Now, Daichi knew that he had never looked at his fiancee with anything more than friendship, even when he’d once wondered if she was finally starting to win his affection after all the time they spent together.

Now, the prince knew what it was to look upon someone and _know_ that they were the other half of your soul.

Now, Daichi longed for that beautiful omega boy with a bone-deep desire…even after he watched the boy die in his arms.

They had only spoken once, yet somehow…it felt as though it were enough for a lifetime. It would _have_ to be enough for a lifetime.

Daichi would never see those beautiful eyes again.

“Sawamura-sama.” It’d been so long since Michimiya used his family name when they were alone together, even though Daichi always used hers. He thought that they were way beyond that level of propriety now.

“Michimiya-san.” Daichi’s voice was jagged, even to his own ears. “You know you are permitted to call me by my first name.”

“Then…Daichi-sama,” For the first time, Daichi noticed her. He finally heard the tremble in her voice, finally saw the way she wore her hair in his favorite style: that short, brown, plain bob free from any of the silliness her handmaidens frequently tried to adorn her with. “I…I want to be useful to you. I-If there’s anything…,”

Michimiya sighed, shaking her head. “I know that you’re grieving on a level I will never understand. Because of that grief, I…feel so far away from you. I have never in my _life_ felt as far from you as I do right now.” She swallowed thickly, somehow managing to set the tea kettle back onto a gilded platter with a clatter before coming to sit next to him on the chaise.

“I don’t know what to do, Daichi-sama. I don’t know if asking this is what you want, or what you need but…but _please_ , please know that I am here for you.” Michimiya took one of his cool hands in both of hers, the tears welling in her eyes breaking free to spill down her cheeks.

“Won’t you at least drink some tea for me?”

Daichi didn’t think he could muster a smile. He nodded, though his inability to express the worlds of appreciation he felt toward his dearest childhood friend permeated his core. He’d never been good at articulating his words, expressing his true feelings…especially not now.

Even so, Michimiya understood. She always understood.

The brunette beta reached for one of the dainty, intricately painted teacups (on which she considered herself quite the expert). She was so highly educated, so perfectly instructed in manners and matters of state. She truly was the perfect wife. Daichi knew that she would be the perfect queen for his kingdom.

Why wasn’t that _enough_ anymore?

When Michimiya handed Daichi that steaming cup of tea…something _happened_.

The little cup flew across the room, delicate porcelain shattering across hardwood floors. Daichi knelt down on the floor, clutching his chest. Around Michimiya’s shouts for help, a wave of… _warmth_ was flooding through him in the strangest way. He took deep, calming breaths, tuning out his fiancee’s worried inquiries to focus on the feeling inside of him.

At that moment, Daichi _knew._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyo! So these chapters titled 'Excerpt' are going to be little bits of info/background/whatever that I think belong by themselves, or would conflict with the pacing of a chapter :) It's kind of like half an update? I swear I'm working on the actual next chapter XD 
> 
> Thank you again to everyone who is commenting, leaving kudos, or just taking the time to read this story! I really appreciate you wandering on down to my small corner of the internet for a bit! I hope ya'll have had a great week, and that you have an awesome weekend! ^.^

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to my castle of angst! I put up the implied character death warnings just in case some people throw things at me for 'murdering' their favorite characters :D WINK WONK WINK WONK please keep reading I swear things happen. In any case! This is my first Haikyuu fanfic and uh sorry if it sucks! Glad I finally got around to posting this shiz here. I've wanted to for awhile >.>
> 
> Um so I see a bunch of people posting like songs to listen to? I put all my A/N's at the end though >.> But this story is inspired by a song called 'Still Yours' by Fleurie (Roll credits) if you want to check it out! :) 
> 
> Other than that, it's nice to meet you! I am a scatterbrained nurse so my upload schedule is going to be pretty abysmal. :) But thanks for stopping by anyway!


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